*teacher calls your name on the first day of school for attendance*
MY MOM SET A TOWEL ON THE COUNTER AND IT JUST FUCKING CAUGHT ON FIRE
THERE WAS NOTHING NEAR IT IT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED
Is your mother Spencer Shay
He just gets slowly less concerned
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.